How to stop child from crying in the mornings
Every school morning started off the same way. My girl would cry every morning she had
to go to school.
The clock would strike 7:00am and I would roll out of bed and walk to my 5-year-old daughter’s room to wake her up. “We’re going to be late!” After calling her name a few times with no results, I would grasp her by the ankles and pull her toward me to change her clothes while her eyes were still shut.
She sobbed, kicked and screamed. And the tears would continue to flow through the brushing of teeth, the visit to the restroom, brushing of the hair. Needless to say this was extremely frustrating for me and my wife and it would kick off every single day on a downer.
Was I alone? Was my child the only one in the world to have such a hard time waking up?
We were kids once. Perhaps we have forgotten how difficult it was for us to get out of bed and get ready in the mornings to go to school.
The 30-Minute Rule
My pastor told me about a type of daily meditation exercise referred to the Examen where you allow yourself 20 minutes of silence to review your previous day and focus on moments or interactions that stand out.
You then focus on one of those key moments and meditate on it. How did it make you feel? Allow honesty in the moment - did it make you feel sad, happy, desperate, worried? As you guessed, the key moment that came to my attention was the process of waking up my 5-year-old girl in the mornings and the frustration that it would incite every time.
The last phase of the examen is to allow God to give you insight on that moment. This may be in the form of guidance, of peace, joy, hope. In my case, a very clear thought came to mind to guide me in my struggle with my girl.
Wake up 30 minutes before, go lay next to her.
Putting the 30 Minute Rule into Action
Would it actually work? As tired as I was, was this so important to me that I
would be willing to wake up earlier to make the waking up process smoother? Absolutely!
The next day, I was out of bed at 6:30am. After a little prayer, I took a shower, put my clothes on and was ready to take on the challenge.
I lied down next to my girl who was in deep sleep and I massaged her back. I sang to her. I asked her questions without any pressure to answer back. After all, I had 30 minutes left!
She then said “I’m a robot Daddy, you have to put me together.” So I pretended to assemble her limbs one by one. She smiled, laughed, stretched.
Then I played a clip of Disney’s Mulan on my phone. I could see she was now awake.
I then gave her a challenge. I would give her $1 every morning if she put on her own clothes. She jumped to her feet and accepted!
At 6:50am, she was out of bed, in her clothes, hair and teeth brushed and best of all, with a huge smile on her face. She and I and the rest of the household were ready to take the day head on!
Conclusion
While you’re more than welcome to do so, you don’t have to use the exact same ideas to encourage your child to wake up. Come up with some ideas that are personal to your relationship with your child, things that excite them or would serve as motivation to take a look. Peek their curiosity. Fill them with love. A warm embrace and a shower of kisses can go a long way.
Whatever you do, it is important to give yourself a 30 minute window for the pep talk. After all, no one wants to wake up to a drill sargeant barging into your room, right?
to go to school.
The clock would strike 7:00am and I would roll out of bed and walk to my 5-year-old daughter’s room to wake her up. “We’re going to be late!” After calling her name a few times with no results, I would grasp her by the ankles and pull her toward me to change her clothes while her eyes were still shut.
She sobbed, kicked and screamed. And the tears would continue to flow through the brushing of teeth, the visit to the restroom, brushing of the hair. Needless to say this was extremely frustrating for me and my wife and it would kick off every single day on a downer.
Was I alone? Was my child the only one in the world to have such a hard time waking up?
We were kids once. Perhaps we have forgotten how difficult it was for us to get out of bed and get ready in the mornings to go to school.
The 30-Minute Rule
My pastor told me about a type of daily meditation exercise referred to the Examen where you allow yourself 20 minutes of silence to review your previous day and focus on moments or interactions that stand out.
You then focus on one of those key moments and meditate on it. How did it make you feel? Allow honesty in the moment - did it make you feel sad, happy, desperate, worried? As you guessed, the key moment that came to my attention was the process of waking up my 5-year-old girl in the mornings and the frustration that it would incite every time.
The last phase of the examen is to allow God to give you insight on that moment. This may be in the form of guidance, of peace, joy, hope. In my case, a very clear thought came to mind to guide me in my struggle with my girl.
Wake up 30 minutes before, go lay next to her.
Putting the 30 Minute Rule into Action
Would it actually work? As tired as I was, was this so important to me that I
would be willing to wake up earlier to make the waking up process smoother? Absolutely!
The next day, I was out of bed at 6:30am. After a little prayer, I took a shower, put my clothes on and was ready to take on the challenge.
I lied down next to my girl who was in deep sleep and I massaged her back. I sang to her. I asked her questions without any pressure to answer back. After all, I had 30 minutes left!
She then said “I’m a robot Daddy, you have to put me together.” So I pretended to assemble her limbs one by one. She smiled, laughed, stretched.
Then I played a clip of Disney’s Mulan on my phone. I could see she was now awake.
I then gave her a challenge. I would give her $1 every morning if she put on her own clothes. She jumped to her feet and accepted!
At 6:50am, she was out of bed, in her clothes, hair and teeth brushed and best of all, with a huge smile on her face. She and I and the rest of the household were ready to take the day head on!
Conclusion
While you’re more than welcome to do so, you don’t have to use the exact same ideas to encourage your child to wake up. Come up with some ideas that are personal to your relationship with your child, things that excite them or would serve as motivation to take a look. Peek their curiosity. Fill them with love. A warm embrace and a shower of kisses can go a long way.
Whatever you do, it is important to give yourself a 30 minute window for the pep talk. After all, no one wants to wake up to a drill sargeant barging into your room, right?
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